Make Me Beautiful
by Little Blossom
Summary: One shot -Crack- People just want to be beautiful, and Sanji can help. Whether he knows it or not, Nami sure plans to make a killing on it. Sanji poking and general nakamaship


**Make Me Beautiful**

In the dead of the night while everyone was tucked, sprawled, tangled, or contorted into anatomically impossible positions in their beds, there were dark plots being arranged on deck.

A wide honey sweet smile was given, voice sugar coated. "Thank you for this Duv… no wait, it's Handsome now."

"My Pleasure! I owe you for this glorious face! Leave it to me! My beautiful self should get to Shabondy Archipelago a few days before you. It'll be ready by then!"

She turned away, smile becoming a smirk. "Excellent."

* * *

Nami made excuses and stayed with the ship while the others went into town. After all, she had to set up the clinic while they were away.

She happily noted there was already a line up of men with Beli clenched desperately in their fists.

When they got to the New World, she planned on being loaded.

She glanced down at the advertisement in her hand with glee, chuckling smugly.

_ HAVE YOU UNATTRACTIVE MEN EVER WANTED TO CROSS THAT BRIDGE TO BEAUTY? LOOK NO FURTHER AS MR. PRINCE HAS COME TO YOUR RESCUE!_

There was a picture of Sanji (crown drawn on his head), followed by two sets of before and after shots. One was of Wanze and the other was Duval. Sure the former dreaded his face reconstruction, but they didn't need to know that. They only needed to see the positive results. And the latter was probably still preaching to the island about the miracle make over.

Nami loved desperate men, desperate meant easy to fool

_ QUICK TREATEMENT! LIGHTNING QUICK! RESULTS JUST CRACK INTO PLACE BEFORE YOU KNOW WHAT HIT YOU!_  
_  
Wavers must be signed. We're not responsible for any injuries that may occur. 100,000 Beli per bone set action._

Of course, Nami loved desperate men with money the most.

* * *

"Wow! Sanji! You must be popular! So many people are staring at you like you're the biggest hunk of meat in the world!" Luffy cried out in amazement. And as an afterthought added, "I'm hungry."

"Huh?" Sanji mumbled out over his cigarette, eyes looking up from the fish he was inspecting, not noticing the way the double chinned, acne faced, part time, fish boy worker stared at him in quiet awe.

"Luffy's_ right_" Usopp said in disbelief, never having thought he'd be uttering those words about his simple minded and generally unobservant captain. He looked around. "And there seems to be a crowd."

"The Hell?" Zoro grunted. "They're all guys…"

Sanji opened his mouth ready to complain about where all the lovely doves he'd seen earlier had gone, only to be stopped as a large, balding man in clothes too tight threw himself at Sanji's feet.

"Oh! Please save me Mr. Prince!" Small beady eyes looked up at Sanji, full of some unspoken sorrow. "I can't live any longer looking like this! I'm 47 and _I've never touched a girl_!"

"What the FUCK is -" Sanji got cut off again by desperate cries from males as they surrendered themselves to him, mind, body and soul.

_"Oh Mr. Prince save us!"_

Chopper was confused as to how Sanji seemed to have invoked the opposite of his greatest fantasy. Instead of gorgeous and shapely women throwing themselves at Sanji like he's dreamed, he was getting unattractive men tossing themselves at him from all sides instead.

Sanji stood horrified, swallowing nervously as he felt his brain start to break. He ruefully realised moments later that he'd swallowed his cigarette.

"Oi! Sanji! I think I see some disfigured old men building you a shrine!" Luffy laughed. "That's so cool! I want someone to make _me_ a shrine!"

At the sight of the posted flyer on the wall Robin let out a small chuckle.

Zoro merely raised an eyebrow as the cook fainted. "Dumb ass."

~End~

* * *

I hope I wasn't the only one that noticed that in chapter 496 that wasn't the first time Sanji's kicks reconstructed people's faces for the better. That Ramen Tempo guy had his fair share too.

This was my first One Piece anything, I hope I didn't have the reverse effects of Sanji's kicks and created something... uh... not beautiful


End file.
